This is the word women use at the end of any argument that
they feel they are right about but need to shut you up.
Never use the word "fine" alone to describe
how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those
Note: The only acceptable way to use
"fine" to describe how a woman looks is to say (in your
best Barry White, Trace Adkins, or whomever is the current male
singing idol, voice), "Baby, you look fine!"
As long as she thinks you want to have hot monkey sex with her
like when you were first dating, and right now, she'll be
"fine" with your answer.
This is at least ½ hour. It is equivalent to the five
minutes that your football game is going to last before you take
out the trash, so I feel that it's an even trade.
This means something and you should be on your toes.
"Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a
woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and
backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that
will last "five minutes" and will end with the word
Go Ahead (with raised eyebrows):
This is a dare; one that will result in a woman getting upset
over "nothing" and will end with the word
Go Ahead (with normal eyebrows):
This means "I give up" or "… do what you
want because I don't care." You will get a raised
eyebrow "go ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by
"nothing" and "fine," and she will talk to
you in about "five minutes" when she cools off.
This is not actually a word but is still often a verbal
statement very misunderstood by men. A "loud sigh"
means she thinks you are an idiot at that very moment and wonders
why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you
Again, not a word but a verbal statement, "soft
sighs" are one of the few things that some men actually
understand. She is content. Your best bet is to not move or
breathe and she will stay content.
Note: Now could be a good time to,
very slowly and carefully, begin some real romantic foreplay (at
least an hour). This could lead to some of the best sex (or the
only sex) you'll have all year.
This word followed by any statement is trouble.
Examples: "Oh, let me get to
that." "Oh, I talked to him about what you were doing
If she says "oh" before a statement, run,
do not walk, to the nearest exit. She will tell you that she is
"fine" when she is done tossing your clothes out the
window but do not expect her to talk to you for at least 2 days.
"Oh" as the lead to a sentence usually signifies that
you are caught in a lie. Do not try to lie more to get out of it
or you will get a raised eyebrow "go ahead" followed by
acts so unspeakable that I can't bring myself to write about
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can
say to a man. "That's okay" means that she wants to
think long and hard before paying you retribution for whatever it
is you've done. "That's okay" is often used in
conjunction with the word "fine" and the raised eyebrow
"go ahead." At some point in the near future when she
has plotted and planned, you are going to be in some mighty big
This is not a statement, this is an offer. A Woman is giving
you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have
for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair
chance to tell the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get
a "that's okay."
A Woman is thanking you. Do not faint just say,
Thanks a Lot:
This is much different than "thanks." A Woman will
say "thanks a lot" when she is really ticked off at
you. It signifies that you have hurt her in some callous way, and
will be followed by the "loud sigh." Be careful not to
ask what is wrong after the "loud sigh" as she will
only tell you "nothing."
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