Inter-Office Memorandum

To: My Family & Friends
From: David M. "Doc" Kane
Subject: My Resignation

To My Family & Friends:

I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult.

I decided that I only want the responsibilities of an eight-year-old again. I want to go to A&W, Burger King, or McDonald's and think it's a five-star restaurant. I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle, and make ripples with rocks. I want to think M&M's are better than money because you can eat them. I want to play dodgeball at recess, and paint with watercolors in art. I want to lie under a big oak tree, and run a lemonade stand with my friends on a hot summer's day.

I want to return to a time when life was simple. All I knew were colors, multiplication tables, and nursery rhymes, but that didn't bother me, because I didn't know what I didn't know, and I didn't care. All I knew was to be happy, because I was blissfully unaware of all the things that should make me worried or upset. I want to think the world is fair, that everyone is honest and good. I want to believe that anything is possible.

Somewhere in my youth, I matured and learned too much. There are nuclear weapons, war, prejudice, abused spouses and children, lies, unhappy marriages, illness, pain, and death. We have a world where companies poison our water and our soil, and children kill.

What happened to the time when I thought everyone would live forever, because I didn't grasp the concept of death? The worst thing in the world was if someone took the jump rope from me or picked me last for kickball.

I want to be oblivious to the complexities of life and be overly excited by the little things again. I want to return to the days when children played hide and seek outside instead of being glued to a television. Video games were as harmless as Pac-Man… instead of spine ripping, blood splattering mind numbers like whatever the latest release is. TV still had some shows on that weren't about sex, killing, and lies.

I remember being naive and thinking everyone else was happy because I was. My afternoons were spent climbing trees and fences and riding my bike. I never worried about time, bills or where I was going to find the money to fix my car. I used to wonder what I was going to do or be when I grew up, not worry about what I'll do if this doesn't work out.

I want to live simple again. I don't want my day to consist of:

  1. Computer crashes

  2. Mountains of paperwork

  3. The threat of losing my job if my performance isn't up to the standards of someone who barely understands what it is I do

  4. Depressing news

  5. How to survive more days in the month than there is money in the bank

  6. Doctor bills

  7. Gossip

  8. Office politics

  9. Illness and loss of loved ones

I want to believe in the power of smiles and hugs, a kind word, truth, justice and the American way, peace, dreams, the imagination, mankind, and making angels in the snow.

So, here are my checkbook and my car keys, my credit card bills and my 401K statements. I am officially resigning from adulthood. And if you want to discuss this further, you'll have to catch me first, cause…

"Tag! You're it."

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