Frankly, Scallop, I Don't Give a Clam
Seen in Cape Cod
That's It! I'm Calling Grandma!
Seen on an 8 year old
Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew Up
Rehab is for Quitters
My Dog Can Lick Anyone
I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts - Do You Want to Super-Size That?
I May Not go Down in History But I Will go Down on Your Little Sister
Party - My Crib - Two A.M.
On a baby size shirt
Finally 21, and Legally Able to do Everything I've Been Doing Since 15
All Men are Idiots, and I Married Their King
West Virginia: One Million People, and 15 Last Names
Failure is not an option. It comes bundled with the software
I'm out of Estrogen, and I've got a gun
A hangover is the wrath of grapes
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance
Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
Discourage Inbreeding - Ban Country Music
Moosehead: A great beer and an interesting experience for the moose
Time's fun when you're having flies…
Kermit the Frog
For Sale: Iraqi rifle. Never fired. Dropped once.
A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up a thousand times the memory.
The Meek shall inherit the earth… after we're through with it.
Welcome to Kentucky - Set your watch back 20 years.
The trouble with life is there's no background music.
Well… It's Not Going to Lick Itself
Seen on a pair of ladies panties
If There is no God, Who Pops up the Next Kleenex?
Suicidal Twin Kills Sister by Mistake!
The original point and shoot interface was a Smith & Wesson.
My Wild Oats Have Turned to Shredded Wheat
Computer programmers don't byte, they nibble a bit.
NyQuil - The stuffy, sneezy, why the hell is the room spinning medicine.
My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God. I didn't.