Things Most Men Will Never Say

Things Most Men

I think Barry Manilow is one cool motherfucker.

No, I don't want another beer. I have to work tomorrow.

I think hairy butts are really sexy.

Her tits are just too big.

Sometimes I just want to be held.

That chick on "Murder, She Wrote" gives me wood.

Sure, I'd love to wear a condom.

We haven't been to the mall for ages. Let's go shopping and I can hold your purse.

Fuck Monday Night Football, let's watch Ally McBeal.

I think we're lost. We better pull over and ask for directions.

It's late. Put your clothes back on and I'll take you home.

Honey, I'm going to the store. Do you need more tampons?

What happened to my old Nancy Drew books?

Do these jeans come in lavender?

Okay, so a straight guy wouldn't say that!

I love jogging dear, but I can't keep up with you. You go on ahead.

This shower curtain doesn't have enough frills on it.

Damn, too bad this car isn't a four cylinder.

My butt's too big. Don't lie. It's true. My butt's too big.

See above.

It's OK. I'll sleep in the wet spot.

I know you just blew me, but I need a kiss.

I'm sick of beer. Give me a fruit juice with a lemon twist.

Great. Your mother's coming to stay with us again!

I wonder if my gorgeous neighbor knows that her drapes are open when she's getting dressed for bed? Maybe I should tell her.

No way. You weeded the garden last week. It's my turn.

I'd better get rid of these old Penthouse magazines. I don't look at them any more.

I understand.

This movie has too much nudity.

Damn, we're late for church.

No, I don't want to see your sister's tits.

Damn these onions. Pass me a tissue.

Oversized T-shirts are so sexy, especially on really fat chicks.

Slow down. You move too fast. You've got to make the morning last.

Put some panties on for Christ's sake.

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