A New Millennium Résumé

A New Millennium

Mailing Address • City, State & Zip Code
Phone: (xxx) xxx-xxxx • Fax: (xxx) xxx-xxxx • Mobile: (xxx) xxx-xxxx
E-mail: yourserver@wherever.net

NAME

OBJECTIVE
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To sit in a cubicle and stare at a monitor for eight hours, occasionally looking attentive when approached by a superior.

EDUCATION
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1996-2005

University

City, State

Degree
  • Very expensive
Major
  • Not important
GPA:
  • Don't Ask, Don't Tell
EMPLOYMENT
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Network Management

09/1996-Present Day

Company Name

  • Produced daily itinerary of television programs to watch.
  • Duties included changing channels, avoiding infomercials, and staying tuned after those "important" messages.

Debt Consolidation

04/1997-12/1999 Company Name
  • Using various tools such as credit cards and borrowed cash, I managed to combine groups of unpaid bills into one monthly bill that goes straight to my father.
COMPUTER SKILLS
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  • Solitaire
  • Minesweeper
  • On/Off Repair Method
AWARDS
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  • First Place in Miller Lite Funnel Tournament
  • Said Toast at brother's wedding
  • High Score on Theta Chi's Pin Ball Machine
REFERENCES
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For further references, contact my mother. For positive responses, please pose all questions as though you're considering me as a law school applicant.


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