- In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:
- The pigskin bus pulling into tuna town
- You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've both shared:
- Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship
- Your blood-test results
- Five tequila slammers
- You time your orgasm so that:
- Your partner climaxes first
- You both climax simultaneously
- You don't miss Sportscenter
- Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:
- Healthy, creative love-play
- Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would ever agree to
- Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend need ever find out about
- Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had sex with is:
- The best part of the experience
- The second best part of the experience
- $100.00 extra
- Your girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in the last month. You tell her that it's:
- No concern of yours
- Not a problem, she can join your gym
- A conservative estimate
- You think today's sensitive, caring man is:
- A myth
- An oxymoron
- A moron
- Foreplay is to sex as:
- Appetizer is to entree
- Primer is to paint
- A line is to an amusement park ride
- Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself
saying at the end of a relationship?
- "I hope we can still be friends,"
- "…I'm not in right now, please leave a message…"
- "Welcome to Dumpsville, population, Y-O-U."
- A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:
- Probably needs a little more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacy
- Is uptight and a waste of time
- Shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place
If you answered "a" more than seven times, check your pants to make sure you really are a man.
If you answered "b" more than seven times, check into therapy. You're still a little confused.
If you answered "c" more than seven times, "You Da Man!"