- Kitchen closed… This woman has had it!
- Martha Stewart doesn't live here!
- I'm creative… You can't expect me to be neat
too!
- So this isn't Home Sweet Home… Adjust!
- Ring Bell for Maid Service… If no answer, do it
yourself!
- I clean house every other day… Today is the other
day!
- You may touch the dust in this house… Please don't
write in it!
- If you must write in the dust, please don't date it!
- I'd cook dinner but I can't find the can opener!
- My house was clean last week, too bad you missed it!
- A clean kitchen is the sign of a wasted life.
- THE COOK CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!
- I came, I saw, I decided to order take out.
- If you don't like my standards of cooking… lower
your standards.
- Apology… Although you'll find our house a mess,
come in, sit down, converse. It doesn't always look like
this: Some days it's even worse.
- A messy kitchen is a happy kitchen, and this kitchen is
delirious.
- If we are what we eat, then I'm easy, fast, and
cheap.
- A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
- Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
- Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall
never cease to be amused.
- A clean house is a sign of a misspent life.
- Help keep the kitchen clean… Eat out.
- Countless number of people have eaten in this kitchen and
gone on to lead normal lives.
- My next house will have no kitchen… Just vending
machines.
- Gardening forever… Housework, never!
- Dull women have immaculate houses.