40 ThingsYou Probably Won't Hear

40 Things

You Probably Won't Hear From An Alaskan Male

  1. Oh I just couldn't, she's only sixteen.
  2. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.

  3. Duct tape won't fix that.

  4. Honey, I think we should sell the pickup and buy a family sedan.

  5. Come to think of it, I'll have a martini.

  6. We don't keep firearms in this house.

  7. Has anybody seen the beard trimmer?

  8. You can't feed that to the dog.

  9. I think baseball caps look stupid.

  10. No dogs or kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.

  11. Wrestling's fake.

  12. Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?

  13. We don't hunt. We're vegetarians.

  14. Do you think my gut is too big?

  15. I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy.

  16. Honey, we just don't need another dog.

  17. Who gives a damn who won the Civil War?

  18. Give me the small bag of sunflower seeds.

  19. Too many moose racks detract from the decor.

  20. Spittin' is such a nasty habit.

  21. I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.

  22. Would you trim the fat off that steak, please?

  23. Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.

  24. The tires on that truck are just too big.

  25. I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad.

  26. I've got it all on the C: drive.

  27. Unsweetened tea tastes better.

  28. Would you like your Salmon poached or broiled?

  29. My fiancé, Kineesha, is registered at Tiffany's.

  30. I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.

  31. Little Debbie snack cakes have too many grams of fat.

  32. Checkmate.

  33. She's too young to be wearing a halter top.

  34. Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?

  35. Hey, here's an episode of "Northern Exposure" that we haven't seen.

  36. I don't have a favorite college team.

  37. Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.

  38. Excuse me.

  39. Those shorts ought to be a little longer Darlin'!

  40. Nope, no more for me. I'm drivin'.

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